How to Avoid Huge Ships by John W. Trimmer

These are the kind of farts that once you smell it, your head snaps up, you nostrils burn like the fires of hell and you know you are trapped in your desk area for at least 5 minutes. It is not uncommon for him to walk by and crop dust his staff. Poo-Pourri is a spray that basically lays down a film of scent over the water in your toilet bowl to keep the room from smelling like literal ass.īest review: 'I work in a small medical clinic and my boss is the doctor. More: These Are the Most Hilarious Things to Ask Alexa The entire complex smelled like hopes and dreams.' - Irma Gerd Honorable mention: 'Do NOT eat too much of this stuff at once. Ground into patties, they make a great burger.' - George Takei I highly recommend TOM RIDDLE brand unicorn steaks, which arrive still oozing restorative blood. Moreover, certain European countries were caught mixing in regular horse meat (yes, disgusting) so you never really know how pure the unicorn is.

California in fact is ready to ban the practice and sale of such meat by referendum. Apparently, as Dateline recently reported, 'farmed' unicorns are force-fed mostly genetically modified grains, rather than their natural diet of skittles and ecstasy pills. I'd been hoping for that zestier kick that comes from the rump cuts of other mythical and fantastical creatures, such as griffins or centaurs (for the latter, serve only the back half of the creature with guests, or it gets awkward). OK, but do you really want to live a half-life? Has Harry Potter taught you NOTHING?!īest review: 'Unfortunately, I found this unicorn meat brand to be quite similar to spam, both in texture and blandness. There was stuff coming out of me that I ate at my wedding in 2005.' - Christine E. I felt violated when it was over, which I think might have been sometime in the early morning of the next day. It felt like my delicate starfish was a gaping maw projectile vomiting a torrential flood of toxic waste. What came out of me felt like someone tried to funnel Niagara Falls through a coffee straw. I couldn't stand to stay in one room for fear of succumbing to my own odors. Heavens to Murgatroyd, the sounds, like trumpets calling the demons back to Hell.the stench, like 1,000 rotten corpses vomited. I've had food poisoning from some bad shellfish and that was almost like a skip in the park compared to what was going on inside me. Cramps, sweating, bloating beyond my worst nightmare. I had a gastrointestinal experience like nothing I've ever imagined. Best review: 'Not long after eating about 20 of these all hell broke loose.

How to Avoid Huge Ships by John W. Trimmer